30 Karleeisms (all those tiny things that help to define me as a person)

1.   I’ve lived in 7 states and over 21 homes.  The states include California, Nevada, Pennsylvania, Delaware, North Carolina, Kentucky, and Texas. I’ve lived the longest in Kentucky and California.

2.  I am the oldest of 7 siblings. 4 boys and 3 girls—but I will always be number 1—pichaw.

3.  I am me, and I’ve always been me.  My body and circumstances around me have changed, but not me.  At my core, I’ve always been the same person.

4.  I’ve always been the best person I can be.  That means I treat everyone I come across, regardless of who they are, with respect.

My most recent creative endeavor

5.   Challenge me creatively. I will always find a way to succeed. I can guarantee it.

6.   I don’t take bullshit easily, so please don’t bullshit me.

7.   I’ve always wanted to be a voice actress.

8.  I’ve never considered myself to be very interested in political, on-going debates.  I am moderate.

9.   I am an advocate for social justice.

10.  I love to travel. I've currently been to  California, Nevada, Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina, Maryland, Delaware, Florida, Alabama, Virginia, Minnesota, Chicago, Arizona, New Mexico,Oregon, Washington, Georgia, West Virginia, Ohio, Tennessee, Canada (Toronto Area), Mexico (the Yucatan Peninsula as well as Julachuca on the peninsula).  Now that I've covered a good chunk of North America, I would like to travel the rest of the world.

11.  I advocate people. Period. No one should be treated any different than how you want to be treated. Take some time to think about that.

12.   I love learning about other cultures. The media really digs in a blur of ethnic stereotypes and so many people are blinded from preconceived notions of people.

13.   I am particularly over honest about things (I always feel guilty for lying. Always).  I tend to only lie when I’m scared.

14.   I have a degree in English and Linguistics. Other than my occasional blog and creative free-write I haven’t done much with my degree so far.

15.   I have NO IDEA what I want to do with my degree. And, unless you know someone, your dream job becomes less and less of a reality every day (yes—this concept is rather depressing).

16.  I keep those close to me who believe in me as a person.  You know who you are. Thank you.

17.   I have a brown belt in Judo.

18.   I play 5 instruments (hopefully, I will learn to play the guitar sooner rather than later).

19.   I love anime. Period. I really think it’s unfortunate that people have this pre-conceived notion that if you like anime you must be “weird” or “odd”. I tried to hide my love for years, but admiring anime is something you don’t ever grow out of.

20.   I love stories and books. Fantasy is particularly my favorite, but I’ve always loved reading almost any type of story.  It helps to define you, and it helps to define your culture. I love love love to read. I have hundreds and hundreds of books on my bookshelf for all those sleepless nights I’ve spent reading. Some of my favorites include: "Memories of a Geisha," and "The Count of Monte Cristo"

21.   I’ve always felt as if I’ve been a particularly good advice giver. If you need some advice, don’t hesitate to ask.

22.   I have a hereditary tremor.  So, I shake. I am not nervous or tired, and this is not something I can control. When I am employing the use of my muscles, at any point, I shake. I've noticed that if I am hungry, anxious or my blood sugar is out of whack, I will be more shaky than normal.  This particular ism gives me the natural ability to be clumsy and break things (this happens OFTEN). Unfortunately, this will only ripen with age.

23.   I’ve always always always felt as if my purpose in life was to be a great Mother.

My name is Toby. I am the best.

24.   I’ve always had a more serious demeanor. I get easily irritated when people don’t take me seriously.

25. I've always been over protective of my siblings. You mess with them, you mess with me.

26. I love to organize. You name it, I will organize it.

27. I had braces for 8 years, and my teeth
 still aren't completely straight.

28.  I love my dog Toby. He is the best.

29. Other than english, I've studied two languages: 1. Spanish & 2. American Sign Language

30. I believe in God. I’ve believed in God almost all of my life and that won’t ever change.

The Churro Man

Outside AT&T park--The first pitch is about to happen!

The biggest regret of my night: I bought a churro from a man covered in sweat for $4.75. I couldn’t resist the temptation. The churro was a massive 18-20 inches in length, and the sugar glowed, bounding and reflecting off of the stadium lights perched just beyond my peripheral vision. The Churro Man wore a duffle bag—presumably full of churros—across his chest. Sweat dripped down his forehead in a string of pearly beads. His expression never faltered, although it was obviously that he was outwardly tired. The Churro Man wore a slightly dangerous and deranged look upon his face—I guess he really needed to sell those churros. Waving the sugary treat violently above his head, he presented it to AT&T Park as if it was an award to be won, and I desperately wanted to win it.

What more could I have asked for? Crazy, yelling man with food? Check. Giants playing ball in the background? Check. Friends to my left and to my right? Check. And you know what I asked for? A damn churro. I wanted that churro so badly, I even had to borrow money from Kevin. $1.75 to be exact. The beer and mound of garlic covered fries that I bought right before the first pitch burned a whole in my pocket. The overly priced ballpark food didn’t have a chance—I felt the loss of my hard-earned money before I felt the hungry void disappear. So, as the Churro Man quickly approached, I responded to his fast, loud pace with an even faster loud pace. He was only two steps away when I yelled, "Hey! How much?"

1,000's squish to witness the last Tuesday
Night Game of the 2011 season.

I wrapped the long sugary concoction between my fingers. Oh how I admired the glow and sparkle of my new purchase. Layers upon layers of sugar coated the fried dough like a winter coat. I shook the churro, and the churro shook all over me. I then shook the churro closer to the ground, and then brushed the sugary coat off my lap. I silently thanked the churro for finding me during the last Tuesday night Giants game in San Francisco. 

It was about that time that I heard someone behind me say, "is there a nurse or doctor around?" The voice repeated the question again, “is there a nurse or doctor around?” Naturally curious, I looked around for the problem.  A few seats down and a little over to my left, there was an elderly gentleman having a seizure. Of course, after the announcement was made, doctors and nurses seemingly mass-produced. By any means, the man was not alone, but not much can be done to help someone when seizing. All you can do is stand by their side and make sure they don’t hurt anyone—or more importantly, hurt themselves.  Many stood and kneeled around him until he was ready to be helped.

The elderly man, didn’t seemed to be panicked or worried, and I was pleased to see that people stood by him in his time of need. Regardless, however, I was disturbed by the situation. I was disturbed by how unmoved the crowd was. Someone’s life was being changed, altered, and people were cheering about a ball being tossed around.  Of course, it would be impractical for thousands of people to rush to this man’s side—that would have looked ridiculous—but more consideration and compassion could have gone a long way.

Could it be possible that the baseball game was more important than the health and well being of this man?  I even admit—I was no better than my surrounding counterparts.  I had my churro. I had my friends. I had my game. Consciously or unconsciously—I chose to pay more attention to the field that a man in desperate need of assistance.  I would glance down momentarily every now and again, but just like the people gathered tightly around me, the baseball game would eventually become my focus again. To further my point, the mild interest of the man’s illness didn't travel much farther than 5-10 seats. That evening, all of our lives intersected in one location—AT&T Stadium. Everyone sat tightly together adding to the spirit and fervor of the crowd. When someone couldn’t participate, however, they were unintentionally separated from the event that drove everyone to the same intersection.

The 3 Replacements sitting in seats below:
Yellow cap man in the center.

I felt selfish. I felt selfish for having my churro, and I felt selfish for having my health. I felt selfish for not needing to be helplessly walked out of the stadium. I felt selfish that my biggest regret for that evening was questioning the health status of my sugary churro.  As the churro, not mere minutes later, dwelled in the pit of my stomach, I wondered if the uneasy feeling in my gut was the result of the sugar or the selfishness I felt.

Eventually, a paramedic/emt and a few friends escorted the elderly man out of the stadium.  His face appeared worn and tired, and walking seemed to be no easy task. The man swayed on his feet as if he was just learning how to walk. With each slow, shaky step, he leaned on the paramedic/emt with his remaining strength. And just like that he was gone. The man passed by me, and walked out of my life. Who would have guessed, though, that mere moments later, a new crowd would swoop in quickly to take his place.