I woke up close to 8am this morning to wish Deb (my boyfriend’s aunt) happy travels on her journey back to the land of friendly people—Canada. Standing in a sleepy daze, I gave Deb a hug goodbye and watched the door close behind her and her black leather luggage. My hair was a mess and my breath smelled (failure #1). I really wanted to brush my teeth, but instead I walked into the kitchen and dreamt about going back to sleep—I even climbed back into my blowup mattress (which held anyone’s focus entering or leaving the condo). Regardless of how much I wanted to lie on a plushy bed, I knew I had to start my day because Di (my boyfriend’s mom) was going to return to retrieve my ass for work.
Conscious of time, I rushed to get ready; I was sweating shortly after my shower (man Dallas can be hot). I took a shower, dried my hair, ate breakfast, cleaned up some of my belongings, washed a dish or two, and looked at my phone. I had 5 minutes (Success #1). So what was I to do? Laundry. I started laundry. I pulled the knob and the water began pouring into the drum of the machine. I stuffed a handful the sheets inside. My mind began to wander about the water, the laundry detergent, the goals of my day. I guess you can say multitasking isn't always my best quality. Finally, when I looked up towards the door, Di was standing in its frame. I screamed. I screamed loud enough to scare Di and she jumped from my reaction. I would have jumped on top of the sink if I could (Success for Di/Failure for me).
The afternoon passed by slowly with few people entering the store. As I sat by the door, I patiently waited for the next person I would have the privilege to follow around. I guess I really wanted to follow someone around…
When I realized I was going to spend more time with my phone than people, I glanced out the window to double check my assumption. Of course, I was correct: nobody was waiting for me to help them. Not one person. But, something massive caught my eye. There was a monster pile of bird doo on Di’s car (failure #3). The bird had aimed for the black coat of a 2010 Infinity (which had only had a bath a few days ago). The bird poop was impressive: it splashed and spread itself on the most of the windshield.
What kind of bird would bestow us with such a gift? An eagle? A dinosaur? I guess getting the car cleaned was a lost cause. I called Di over to examine the bird doo with me; she too thought it was impressive, but it was clear she wanted it gone. A minute passed and Di returned with Windex and paper towels. Success! I snapped a picture of Di with her doo (I was forbidden to post it).
I suppose that the bird’s gift was a good luck charm because customers began to filter in the store more frequently—two of which were serious customers (success #3). Even after we closed the store for the night, dinner was an easy grab. Di found a front row parking space. Mind you, we had to follow a painfully slow driver into the parking lot. They drove so slow that it was possible to learn another language: instead I used all of my energy to glare.
As we drove back towards the Turtle Creek turtles, Di pointed to the “shit smear” rubbed across her driver side window. Who knows, maybe this falling failure was more of a success. I guess we’ll see in the days to come.
|The scale of doo is bigger than the photo reveals.|
|The Dinosaur Doo: Look at the Wind Sheild|